Once again a rape case has made national headlines. The reason it made headlines, white rich privilege. Being a promising athlete DOES NOT give you an excuse for sexual assaulting anyone, whether either or both of you are sober or under any level of intoxication. This all hits so close to home, as I was drunk the night I was assaulted. It has brought up a lot of unsettling feelings, including the issues I have with NC laws concerning rape and sexual assault.
Under NC law, First and Second Degree rape require vaginal penetration. If the rapist commits forcible oral or anal penetration, this falls under First or Second Degree Sexual Offense. That’s right, according to law I wasn’t raped even though someone forcefully and without my consent put themselves inside me because they penetrated me anally and not vaginally. In my opinion, any forcible penetration is rape. But it is still a big slap in the face by the law, especially since sodomy is illegal in NC.
This news has brought so much light to the rape culture that is alive and well in the US. This rapist’s dad surely contributes to rape culture when he said that his son is paying a steep price 20 minutes of action. Putting any object inside another human while they are passed out drunk, is NOT action it is a crime. Being a good student and athlete does not excuse committing any crime. His dad says, “His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression.” While ignoring what victims go through. Victims have to deal with the actions of others, Brock has to deal with his actions and no one else’s. And then he goes on to say “What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Brock.” Sorry dad, but your son committed a crime; he deserves to be incarcerated because academics and athleticism do not excuse behavior like you seem to think it should. And how do you know he was never violent to anyone before the night in question, you were not by his side 24/7 so you do not know everything that your son did.
We all must accept responsibility for our actions and any punishment that may be handed to us for our actions. Whether it is cheating on a test and being giving an F for cheating or committing a serious crime and being incarcerated, we must accept all of it. Alcohol and binge drinking does not excuse your behavior either. You choose to drink so you must accept responsibility for all of your actions while intoxicated.
This whole situation brings back one of the worst things after I was raped. The person that raped me was a friend of my roommates and while I was in denial about what happened for years, I did not want him coming anywhere near our dorm. About a month after he raped me and told me that next time we’d have to have some lube, he was picking up my roommate to go somewhere and instead of calling her and waiting in his car, he came up the room. I was busy studying for an exam I had that week and ignored his presence in the room and he later asked my roommate why I ignored him. He assumed that he did nothing wrong to me. He assumed that me being motionless while he violated me, meant that I was okay with what he was doing it seemed. None of it was okay. What he did to me was wrong and him assuming that I wanted to have any sort of interaction with him afterwards was wrong as well.
Over the past 13 years, I’ve faced many things as a result of that one night and I’ve learned a lot. When it comes to rape culture, the biggest thing that I see is people not respecting others bodies. This is across all genders and sexual orientations. Everyone deserves, without asking, to have their body respected by everyone that they come in contact with throughout life. Adults, often look past making kids hug them for this but if a kid doesn’t want to, there is nothing wrong with that. Some of my younger cousins are at an age where hugging people isn’t there thing, but one of them will give fists bumps because “that’s what superhero’s do and superhero’s are cool.” He doesn’t want to give hugs but he has his way of interacting with people that doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable. Teach children to respect the bodies of others and respect the boundaries of the children at the same time.
I can’t say it enough, but to end rape culture we have to do a better job at teaching respect. Respect is where it starts and ends. There are many things in the middle that need to be addressed as well, but without respect the other things do not matter.
Life Happens 