Tonight I saw a post made by a page I follow on Facebook that talked about not sharing nude pictures that your significant other sends you. I commented on it, saying that if you don’t want to risk it being shared by the person that you send it to then don’t send it. As a result, I’ve been accused of victim blaming and called a prude.
I love the sexuality of the body and believe that it should be shared in person and not through text messages. I love when I meet a guy who wants to explore my body and respects that he will not explore my body until we have gotten to know each other. If a guy insists on sending me unsolicited dick pics and then gets pissy when I refuse to send him pictures of myself, he makes it rather clear that he isn’t worth my time. I was raped at 18 and can’t count the times that I was pressured into having sex with my abusive ex, and I will not tolerate guys who think I should give them whatever pictures they want.
There are teenagers that are sending nude pictures of themselves back and forth all day long. They have been taught by society that it is the only way to get attention from those they are physically and/or sexually attracted to. And this doesn’t change as they get older. But if they are under 18, it is considered distribution of pornography of a minor.
Dating has changed drastically over the past decade. Casual sex is more popular than dating and relationships. When the casual sex is over, I’ve had more than one friend left hurt and wondering why the person they were sleeping with didn’t respect them. I tried the casual sex seen and hated it. I had a guy try to pressure me into doing things that I had already told him wasn’t going to happen (there are certain things that trigger flashbacks to the rape and cause panic attacks, so I avoid them because panic attacks during sex isn’t fun). My preference to relationships over casual sex leaves me with few men to choose from. But I would rather be single than with someone who only cares about having sex with me until they meet someone else to have sex with.
While I get that you wouldn’t send nude pictures to someone you don’t trust, in an ideal world, I rebuttal with the fact that when I tried online dating I received a dick pic from a guy before he ever tried to meet me in person. This guy had no clue if I was who I said I was in my profile or anything about the type of person I am and felt the need to show me his dick.
When it comes to rape, the actions of one person are to blame. When it comes to where your nude pictures end up after you take them and send them, you are responsible for taking them and sending them in the first place. While it is the person’s fault who shared those pictures for sharing them, they would not have the pictures to share if you had not taken and sent them to begin with. There is a shared responsibility when your nude pictures are seen. Get as mad as you want with the person who shared them but remember they would not have done what they did without what you sent them to begin with.
People are assholes and you don’t know who you can really trust in today’s world. In a world full of online dating, sexting, and catfishing there are far too many unknowns to just send images of your body to whoever wants them and even more unknowns to send them to people who do not ask for them. We are going to come to a time years from now, when a number of those running for office will be at risk for nude pictures from their younger years surfacing.
As I have said many times before, we must teach children to respect themselves and others. Part of this involves respecting your body and the bodies of those that you meet in life, this goes for those you have sexual contact with and those you do not have sexual contact with. However, adults need to set examples for these children. If the adults in a child’s life do not respect their bodies, they cannot expect the children to respect theirs. It’s a never ending cycle and with technology at our finger tips, the potential repercussions of sharing nude pictures of yourself will grow.
Edit: After posting this last night, I ended up with a reply to my comment on the Facebook post calling my a stupid retard. At that point I deleted my comment because I will not tolerate being called stupid or a retard. Calling anyone a retard is socially unacceptable and calling someone who has an above average IQ a stupid retard is just cruel.
Life Happens 